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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?